12 Days of Japanese Advice: How to Read Japanese Names

According to all known laws of reading names, there is no way Japanese names should be able to fly. There are many ways to read a name and you’ll never get its fat little body off the ground. But Japanese names, of course, flies anyway because Japanese names don’t care what Westerners think is impossible. Family name, given name. Family name, given name. Family name, given name. Family name, given name. Oh look, given name and family name! Let’s Westernize a bit. Kastel, breakfast is ready! Ikuuuuuu! Hang on a sec. Hello? Kastel? Mendokusai-chan? Can you believe this is happening? I can’t. I’ll pick you up. Looking radical. Use the EDICT. Your father installed Translation Aggregator just for you. Sorry, got excited. Here’s the N1 graduate. We’re very proud of you, son. A perfect report card. All Es for Eroge. Very proud. Ma, I got a thing going here. You got cum on your hand. Ow, I love Evangelion too much. Wave to us! We’ll be in the shittweeting row. Bye. Kastel, I told you stop writing shitty blog posts! Hey, Kastel. Hey, Mendokusai-chan. Is that cum on your hand? Yes, special day. Graduation. Never thought I played Chuusotsu this year. Good writing, good visuals. Maybe I’ll write about it in 12 Days. But twelve days of blogging weird shit. I’m glad I have no life whatsoever. But you do come back different every time you write a post. Hey, Kastel. Artie, growing a mustache? You know, you don’t need to look 18 to buy eroge. Hear about Harambe? No, let’s not do that meme. Everybody knows, memes never die. Just don’t waste an important post day on modifying a stupid script. Such a lazy nerd. I guess he could have just not published a thing for a day and be extremely lazy. But I love how he incorporates memes into our days, so he has no life. That’s why we don’t need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pretension going here. Especially under the circumstances. But well, Mendokusai-chan, today we are officially anibloggers. We are! Aniblarghers. Amen! Hallelujah!

You don’t learn how to read family names. Unless you want to learn every pointless reading. Just google the name or hear it said aloud.

Tomorrow, we’ll be talking about how to convert words into katakana.

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6 thoughts on “12 Days of Japanese Advice: How to Read Japanese Names

  1. plainpastaandplainrice December 22, 2016 / 5:58 pm

    “You don’t learn how to read family names. Unless you want to learn every pointless reading. Just google the name or hear it said aloud.”

    I was actually going into this post hoping for some kind of hot tips on names, but this pragmatic tongue-in-cheek advice works too. I’m starting to slowly drill more kanji into my head, hoping to get to the point where I can start reading manga or light novels to apply my skills and reinforce my knowledge, but names are still a deep mystery. So many different readings and sometimes the reading in question is totally out there.

    • Kastel December 22, 2016 / 6:00 pm

      Just learn words, not kanji or their readings.

  2. konb123 December 22, 2016 / 6:53 pm

    Was this call sponsored by time Warner cable? To show its sonic speed?

  3. Frog-kun December 22, 2016 / 10:47 pm

    Kastel, did you have cum on your hands as you typed this?

  4. Shinra Tensei December 23, 2016 / 12:50 am

    Da fuck kind of post is this? Seems the whole of this is random, allow me to say 我が愛は破壊の情

  5. chuunifuck December 28, 2016 / 11:02 pm

    You should read Tsukihime.

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